User Profile

i'm always tired and angry. one of my elbows is always itchy and dry while the other is moisturized and supple. i argue out loud with the books i read. i'm not sure how to tell if anyone else believes in solipsism. i don't generally answer my phone. or my door. the overwhelming majority of people on earth annoy me. i have few, if any, redeeming qualities, and i like that. i have more houseplants than friends, and i like that too. i usually pretend not to hear people who call my name from a distance. the appropriate place to look while walking is down. children who think they have a meaningful understanding of anything at all piss me off. i know the location of the nearest bald eagle nest. i probably think you are funny, but not for the reasons you would want me to. i respond to multiple choice questions with yes/no answers. i've probably declared you null and void. i understand that diet dr. pepper really does taste more like regular dr. pepper, but wonder what it taste more like regular dr. pepper than. i have no conception of normal social interaction at all. i wonder why people talk to each other so often. i don't understand why there is a tv channel dedicated to broadcasting sporting events the results of which stopped being surprising or relevant in 1962. there is a constant high pitched ringing in my ears. i very nearly failed gym in 1994. i think people who eat cookie dough are fucking lazy. i'm pretty sure i am actively engaged in wasting my life, but that you are too. i think well adjusted people just aren't paying enough attention. i prefer candy to conversation. i once spent a fortnight in my apartment without leaving or talking to anyone, and it may have been the best period in my entire life. i prefer thunderstorms to sunshine, forest to beach, 50 degrees to 80, and land to water. i make up terms and use them as if they were normal without telling people what they mean. quasi-intellectualism is bothersome. i subsit almost entirely on eggs, toast, coffee, and oranges. I always know where my towel is. i do not recall ever having done excercise ever in my entire life. i think most statues have more interesting things to say than most people. the glass is not half full or half empty, it's just average. i have bad credit. i have absolute confidence in my ability to walk into the wilderness and survive comfortably forever. i am insomniatic. i might be apathetic, but i don't really care. the only thing i hate more than parties are parties.

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